Brain Fog Update

A couple of months ago, I posted a newsletter about my long war with brain-fog, and its associated creative, mental, emotional and physical inertia. It talked about it felt to wake up, every day, and take some sort of lottery ticket as to how much I would be able to do, or not. I’d never thought of myself as a spoonie, but there were times when the analogy was just too accurate.

Recently, though, it seems to (mostly) have passed.

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Now, I don’t want to shout any of this too loudly, because the moment I do, we all know what’ll happen. But I likewise wanted to share what’s changed, because maybe it will help someone else.

First issue: menopause. That (sadly) we couldn’t do much about. I’m past the worst of it now, thank dog, but if I had my time over again, I’d definitely be going on HRT.

Second: my thyroid. I’ve been hypothyroid for years, but my GP had always refused to prescribe me the replacement hormone, as the levels ‘weren’t serious enough’. I now have a new GP who’s given me a teeny-tiny dosage, and it really, truly seems to be helping.

It also helps me sleep (who knew that hypothyroidism could affect your sleep patterns?), which has been really benficial in turn. There’s nothing like a good night’s kip, seriously (and insert comments about fresh air and exercise and whatnot, but they’re not things I’ve ever had trouble with).

Third: diet. A couple of years ago, I was diagnosed with a minor gastric infection (not a big deal, though it scared the crap out of me in the first instance), which meant the complete removal of both booze and gluten, a necessary sacrifice that’s already helped no end. The relationship between the gut and everything else is utterly staggering, when you really start looking into it, and I’ve been steadily learning this, tweaking my diet to add nuts and legumes (meaning more magnesium, more B vitamins and more protein) and removing a lot of the sugar (though not all of it, as that would be silly).

I don’t profess to be a health or dietary expert, but it’s a real rabbit-hole, and when you start digging down, it’s astounding how such tiny things can make a difference.

The really infuriating thing is that all these solutions are so simple. Yet my old GP, who was a nice enough fella and to whom I spoke about the brain-fog and its associated frustrations many times, just never bothered. He refused to help with the hypothyroidism, and the only reason he diagnosed the gastric infection was because I put my foot down and demanded all of the tests (and even then, the booze and gluten were because I did the reading for myself, not because he offered me any kind of information or advice).

There’s no real conclusion to this, only the background aggravation that comes with having suffered with this infernal beast for such a long time, and with it never being taken seriously. It wasn’t permanent, to be fair, it used to flow in and out like cold porridge, but the simple fact of getting up in the morning and being able to think clearly, to write, to communicate, to do the jobs round the house – and all of it without having to fight myself – is such a wonderful feeling. I feel like Sisyphus, finally putting down his rock.

I guess it’s just about learning. We know not to believe everything we read on the web (duh), but sometimes, doing the research really is worth it, and if you do have an issue, then pester your fucking Doctor until they give you the help you need.

Reading: Andrew Joseph White’s The Spirit Bears Its Teeth, which isn’t quite as good as Hell Followed, but is very much striking a chord in my soul as it deals with controlling parents trying to force their child to be a ‘proper young lady’. Heh.

Watching: Just started Dead Boy Detectives, which isn’t quite biting me, so far. The ‘Charles’ character just doesn’t seem convincing, for some reason. His costume and his use of language seem oddly artificial/forced, and if he’s supposed to be Eighties culture, then someone didn’t live through the decade, y’know? Will stick with it, because I’m probably just being grumpy and I’m curious to see where it goes.

Playing: Okay, so as a holiday treat, I re-started Baldur’s Gate, playing the Dark Urge and trying to push the envelope, being as difficult, selfish, greedy and murderous as possible (which is seriously harder than it looks). I’ve killed one party member (Wyll, complete with patron), gleefully murdered Isobel (destroying the Last Light, even before I took out the Paladin), and made Jaheira throw a paddy and storm off. No clue if I’ll get to the end of the adventure with anyone actually left, but hey. I guess we’ll see!

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